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I walk in through a door not made of wood. I return. I had traveled here once before now returning again to the empty, soul depriving nourishment my body so craves. It is oddly familiar yet entirely new. There are no walls, no ceiling or floor. I find the perimeters to be only fenced off by the horizons. I enter into a land where conversations lined with lust-filled desires await. I come with the anticipation of the end of something great…and so, I prepare myself. I don the battle gear of lessons learned, of hopes lost, of desires unfulfilled.

I dip a toe in the flesh lined pool only to feel the cold sting of each cold-hearted gesture. I pause. I walk. To and fro, I go from one to the next as if sifting through a file cabinet of years passed. I shred the old out-dated dusty files, pass over the newly acquired files, put some aside to look over later. I glance at some, read others over carefully.

“It must be here somewhere,” I say aloud just needing to hear the voice of a sound mind.

In the craziness of this world I often find myself needing to hear the voice of a man….and so I speak. I ramble on and on while browsing through the fruit section, discuss the weather while waiting for a bus, shout gestures in disgust of war while maintaining the imbalance of life. In each insipid conversation spewing from these lips, each banal remark emanating from this mind, I know that there is so much more out there for me to discover.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Waz up?”

Each salutation becomes increasingly desperate and pathetic as I journey onward. But I continue on this path lined not with flowers but with disappointments. Each disappointment has, to my surprise, proven to be a blessing in disguise. As unpoetic as it may be, as odd as it may sound, through the despondency of it all I have become a livelier being. I still have hope and it is that hope that drives me forward. It is that hope of something new, of something great, of something never before felt that propels me into this land of emptiness where words are meaningless and selfish flattery abound.

The ground is lined with pebbles and as I shuffle my feet I watch them shoot out in all directions. I look at each pebble, each one being unique and beautiful in its own way but there is one that stands out from the rest. I slowly stoop down to gaze at this pebble that magnanimously embodies the destination this soul seeks. The sun radiates ever so gently upon it so that when I reach to touch, sensations of warmth envelop my entire being. A calmness overcomes this tired body of mine and for once in my life I can say I feel at peace.